(wiki-special opens inside Daytona International Speedway at 6:00 AM inside Timmy's hauler with Timmy and Bubbles sleep-kissing in bed)
[Timmy's digital alarm clock rings as it struck 6:00 AM]
Bubbles (in unison): EEEK!!!!
Timmy: It's okay, Bubbles it's just my clock. *shuts alarm off*
Bubbles: *yawns* I had a great night with you, Timmy. That soothing hot-tub bath you made me last night really helped me calm my nerves to compete in my first NASCAR race today.
Timmy (happily): You mean OUR first NASCAR race, hon.
Bubbles: I know, sweetie. *giggles* And that shoulder-massage you gave me in that bath really relaxed me and also calmed me down and helped boost my much-needed confidence for today's race.
Timmy: Yeah, and I knew that bath and message was gonna relax a cutie-puff like you, so I just had to climb in and give you a hug and some much-needed love in that tub.
Bubbles: Oh, you and your pet names. *giggles and kisses Timmy on the lips*
Timmy: Well I guess that special hottub bath I made for you last night really have gotten you cuter.
Bubbles: *giggles, and she and Timmy kiss*
[Cosmo and Wanda magically appear]
Wanda (in unison to Timmy and Bubbles kissing): Well, this is it, lovebirds! Today is the DAYTONA 500, the Great American Race! Boy, I'm so excited to compete in my very first race!
Cosmo (in unison to Timmy and Bubbles kissing): And I can't wait to drive our cars and eat all the little cars!!!!
Wanda (in unison to Timmy and Bubbles kissing): Cosmo, you're thinking of monster trucks, bird-brain! These are stock cars we're racing today and for 36 races!
Cosmo (in unison to Timmy and Bubbles kissing): 36?! I can only count to 4!
Timmy (after hearing Cosmo's stupid quotes): Wha-What the?! Guys?! Can't you see this hauler is occupied at the moment?!
Wanda: Sorry to interrupt your "Happy Hour", Sport, but Cosmo kept nagging me all last night and all this morning to visit your hauler, since we have a separate hauler for our racing team, owned by Jorgen Von Strangle! Fairy World Motorsports to be exact!
Timmy: That big magical brute owning a racing team?! *scoffs* I thought he'd never adapt to the human world after being recruited by NASCAR.
Wanda: And NASCAR President, Mike Helton managed to put Fairy World on the schedule as race 35 out of 36 races (foreshadowing the "Fairy World 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki-race).
Bubbles: Please drive carefully out there today, sweetie. You might fall a similar fate like you suffered with your prototype car!
Timmy: I love to hear your concern but please don't remind me on what happened on Friday night (in reference to the "Mr. Conductor & Timmy Turner's Thomas Tales With Friends" episode EXTRA, "NASCAR 2000 Media Night").
Bubbles: Why not?
Timmy (in a groaning way): You know why, Bubs. *scene fades into Timmy's reminisce dream with Timmy and Francis revving the engines of their prototype cars (in reference to the "NASCAR Racers" episode "The Stakes"), waiting for Princess Morebucks to let go off her scarf.
Francis: *chuckles* I have a special spot on my trophy shelf for you, Turner.
(Timmy's foot is shown pushing the pedal)
Timmy: Get a hobby actually MEANT for you, Francis!
(Then Princess dropped her scarf and the two raced out)
Morebucks: Beat the bucktooth! We're Team REXCOR! (evil laugh) *scene cuts to Francis and Timmy racing, then cuts to Francis cockpit*
Francis: You owe me BIG, Turner! I'll be collecting a lot from you!
(Francis repeatedly rams Timmy's car while Timmy exclaims every hit)
(Then Timmy hit the break)
Timmy: Go swim with your own kind! The sharks are probably missing you!
*Timmy spins Francis into a lake*
Timmy: Woo-hoo! Finish line, here I come!
Francis: Watch your back, Turner! Sh--*bleep*--'s gonna hit the fence for ya! *starts his protype car and pulls out of the lake and back onto the streets*
(scene cuts to where Remy and Imaginary Gary were walking)
Remy (grumbling underneath his breath): *grunts and puts "ROAD ENDS" sign down* Why must I of all people do the dirty work?!!
Remy: You know, you could be helping me.
Gary: Ey. Who's idea was this again? I've done my part.
Remy: (to himself) Lazy.*grunts while putting the "ROAD ENDS" sign on the wrong side of the road* *puts sign down* (out loud) Turner's taking the wrong road and then he'll have taken the wrong kind of turn-or should i say turn-er for the worse!
Gary: *snobbish laugh* *suddenly hears Timmy's prototype car in the distance* Uh oh, here comes Turner, let's scatter back to the diner. *both leave the scene on foot as Timmy pulls up*
Timmy: Detour? That's unexpected. No matter!
(Timmy takes the turn actually meant to be the ended road)
(Francis drives up)
Francis: (chuckles) Turner fell for it. Hook, line and sinker!
(Scene switches back to Timmy)
Timmy: Huh. Must have lost Francis. (sees tree in front of a big drop) (exclaims in horror)
(Then Timmy screeched to hault, but his car drove horixontially and ran into the tree, hurling him into the lake) *scene fades back to Timmy's hauler*
Timmy: Luckily, you, Rudy, Edd, and Jackie where there helping me up to safety after I climbed all the way up the cliff.
Bubbles. (while tearing up): I know, sweetie. *wraps her arms around Timmy* I'm just glad you're okay. *kisses Timmy on the cheek while tearfully hugging*
Timmy (while cuddling with Bubbles who's still in tears): And I will be out there in the race, don't worry, Bubsy. *scene cuts to "NASCAR Raceday: Served By The Krusty Krab"*
[scene cuts to the NASCAR Winston Cup Series garage in Lisa Simpson's section]
Lisa (to Colin): You know, hon. Ever since our friends and I graduated from Team Fastex NASCAR school back in December, we were each given a mentor, a driver from last year's NASCAR Winston Cup Series to help us prepare and gain confidence during the whole month of January, especially helping us during our training sessions and auditions for each division.
Colin: Because the drivers really care about how much of good people ye are, and Team REXCOR never thought about getting mentors who were actual drivers, instead they use that robot cyborg, Spex to synchronize every enemy with the advice, strategies and sadly, dirty-style moves. I call that cheating.
Lisa: Don't we know it, Colin. And by the way, I've ALWAYS had dreams about wanting to be a professional athlete, and now that dream has become a reality. NASCAR is the best sport for me, and to help me get away from all the dreaded, stressful school assignments back in Springfield Elementary, escaping Ralph Wiggum and that possessive, seductive Milhouse Van Houten, and learning the importance of maturity, and adapting to adult life at this age, especially being TREATED like an adult.
Dale Jarrett (voice only): And so far it's been payin' off for ya'll.
Lisa Simpson: *gasps* Dale Jarrett! Oh! I'm SO pleased to see you again, D.J! How's your dad, Ned Jarrett feeling?
Dale Jarrett: He's doin' okay, he's watchin' the race from the pits doin' some pit-reportin' today, and he wished ya the best of luck out there on the track today in yo first DAYTONA 500. I won it 3 times, and I would love to see YOU in the DAYTONA 500 winners' circle, Lise.
Lisa: Thanks, Dale. *scene cuts to Edd's section in the NASCAR Winston Cup Series garage*
Edd: You know, Turtledove. As much as I don't like Eddy, and that it horrifies me to see his #3 GM Goodwrench Chevrolet in the Team REXCOR garage, I REALLY thank you for revealing to me who he REALLY is.
Jackie: You're very welcome, Dubs. If I hadn't shown you who Eddy REALLY was, you would've still been manipulated by him, and the kids in the cul-de-sac would've still thought negative of you for being associated with that greedy kid.
Tony Stewart (voice only): Hey, Edd. What greedy kid you talking about?
Edd: Oh, Tony Stewart! The greedy kid we were mentioning was Team REXCOR's Eddy McRich. For years, Eddy had brainwashed and manipulated me into constructing his low-budget failed scams to scam the kids in the Peach Creek cul-de-sac, which is now turned into a state-of-the-art motorsports facility and he had everyone in the cul-de-sac think horrid of me. He treated me poorly and no matter how much I wanted no part of his horrendous, insane ideas, he would threaten me to do it, and make up lies to everyone and blame me and Ed for his failures. Eddy even HOSPITALIZED me the day after I got my very first car as a gift for receiving my driver's license the week prior, and I was SUPPOSED go to Jackie's house for dinner that night until his surf-school scam got the best of me. Fortunately, Jackie visited me in the hospital and stayed with me for the rest of my road to recovery, and she REVEALED who Eddy REALLY is, and she woke me up BIG TIME. And then the day came when I told Eddy off.
Tony Stewart: Wow, how did you, bud?
Edd: I'll tell you, Smoke. I just got in my new car and started my engine, ready to be on my way to Jackie's house to pick her up for my date with her and to kindly drop off food for her dog, Maggie, when Eddy ran up to me and knocked on my window, greeted me and told me to construct a scam for him..... *scene cuts to Edd's reminisce dream, with Edd in his car rolling down his window to answer Eddy*
Eddy: Hey, Double-D! I have the biggest scam ever, and it is called Ed's--! What's with the dog food for--?!
Edd: *while giving him the hand* Don't conversate with me, Eddy.
Eddy (confused): What are you taking about?!
Edd: You really want to know? YOU REALLY WANT TO KNOW?! VERY WELL! You are the most ABHORRENT person I know! You've caused me misery and tragedy my WHOLE LIFE AND MADE ME LOOK LIKE A SHAM! You use me to construct your various scams without so much as an admirable praise and this is how you repay me?! You're the reason why the Kankers have stalked and harassed Ed and I since our first encounter with them! During our "Ed's Hive Bee Gone" scam, Ed and I having been chased by a swarm of angry bees because of your HORRIBLE idea that you hung back on while we did all the work, were stung due to you thinking about your life and safety and slammed your door shut too soon! You inserted an ENTIRE bag of sugar into the pitcher of our "En-o-gee" drinks which gave me a SEVERE sugar rush. I admit, the adrenaline was amazing until I was left with a very painful headache because of YOU! You ordered excessive amounts of newspapers that took what seemed like FOREVER to clean up, causing me to get bitten by a miniature canine and triggering a phobia of canines inside me, and Ed causing the newspaper machine to go HAYWIRE and destroy stuff! When I staged a minor prank for you to answer my phone, your prank in return was FAR too severe and could have cost me my life! You caused Ed to destroy my lawn and backyard convincing him my parents' old push-mower looked like a weapon from one of Ed's favorite monster movies, then to add insult to injury, you come up with a scam to put your father's "free range manure" all over the other kids' lawns to mow for money which I not only HIGHLY hate, but it grew the lawns to ABNORMAL height. And in the end, we wound up with a boulder-sized Victor on top of us in UNSANITARY MUD! It was YOUR fault for your failure to tell Kevin the simple truth which led to the infamous "Mucky Boys" lie that you persuaded Ed and me to go along with which got us in dried-up cement!!!! You got the 3 of us in such melee when your "crackdown on Kevin" went amiss during Jimmy's birthday party! You abuse me physically and verbally whether it's for fun, beneficial gain or out of anger! Such as the time we mistook Ed's house key for someone else's missing key and you FALSELY apologized to me after having shouted at me and when my back was turned, you kick me HIGH into the sky which gave me a temporary misshapen back that thankfully, I was able to easily snap back into place. When I had constructed our city of cardboard and offered to help Nazz with her parcels, while you and Ed pretending to be pigeons, YOU drop yogurt as "pigeon waste" to add "realism" to our city and for laughs! So when trying to protect Nazz, she karate-chopped my back. When you led the other kids to disobey rules, you caused me to crack and got us and Ed locked in a custom cage! The time Ed tried to bring Christmas to the Cul-De-Sac, you put me in SO MUCH misery when you forced me to demolish Jimmy's piggy bank, causing Ed, dressed as an elf, to crack and REVEAL me in the act, causing me to BAWL out of heartbreak and shame! Luckily, Ed and Jimmy FORGAVE me after that! You wrote faux sticky notes of ABSURD chores saying they were from my parents which got me flattened by Rolf's hat of discipline and seduced by the Kankers! Frankly, I SUSPECTED it up until the moment you confessed so I turned the tables on you! You breached the privacy of Sarah's diary which caused us and Johnny to become stuck in DISGUSTING chewed gum. You attempted to bust Ed out of his house while he was grounded and got ME OF ALL PEOPLE grounded too! You refused to give Rolf a REAL, SINCERE apology after you assaulted his Great Nano's fish-ball against his fence, which resulted in eels being poured down our pants. You had Ed give me multiple pink bellies just to make me cough up the so-called "jawbreaker" prize instead of learning from the scavenger hunt! When you vowed revenge on Kevin when he DID NOT mean to ruin your sleigh rides scam, you THREATENED to reveal to the public what's under my hat if I didn't go along with you! You tricked me into believing you and Ed had changed into polite kids! Ed merely goes along with these shenanigans, but he's not like you. I'm THANKFUL he's not like you! Oh! And you didn't care for him at all when you persuaded him into buying jawbreakers with SARAH'S money meant for her's and Jimmy's fudge! And to pay her back, you had Kevin and Johnny inflict pain on us as scams! You threatened to drop my hat, Ed's uni-brow AND Mr. Conductor's gold dust down the sewer over lost magazines! When seeking revenge on the Urban Rangers, I could care LESS that I didn't have my provisions, but to lead me to frighten them AND lead me into other wrongdoings makes me SICK TO MY STOMACH! A wedgie you gave Jimmy caused him to crack and framed you, ED AND I when it was only YOU that was responsible and actually deserved implications! You also abandoned me and Ed when I caught Sarah's cold and Ed was being abused by Sarah, but FAR worse when you left me ambushed by the Kankers as well as in a chicken drive and IN A FIERCE STORM I MIGHT ADD FOR FREE JAWBREAKERS! And Ed, unlike you, HELPED AND SAVED me from both! You speak ATROCIOUSLY to me the way a BULLY does because you ARE A BULLY! You caused me to break Ed's violin NOT caring about the consequences, but you NEVER care about the consequences before your actions! After you revealed my MIDDLE name when Kevin revealed yours, you no longer have my sympathy for him blackmailing YOU into embarrassing yourself that day. You made me think I was EXPIRING when I learned of the "Lackadaisycathro Disease"! When Sarah and Jimmy had a rich club, your self-centered and demanding ways ended us up as servants! Punching-bag servants I may add! You are also UNGRATEFUL when others help you. Jimmy came up with an AMAZING refrigerator-sized ice pops scam and you shunned him out! You kidnapped and mutilated Plank's parents and Ed, being the slow-witted young man he is, had us held up in a tree frightened by Plank's aggressive friends. Why, I myself was even frightened of said wood pieces. You, along with Ed chased me when I was to deliver your poorly-marked report cards as I was assigned the task. Luckily, I anticipated your shenanigans and gave them to Rolf to deliver. When we got lost in flashbacks, you had Ed slam a house onto me AS A YOUNG INFANT to make me forget when I met you both in an attempt for me to, in your words, "cough up the dough" for your "Bottomless Ed scam". When it seemed I was "done for" from that night with the said "Mole Mutants", you didn't care if I was gone! Money is all that matters to you, mister! You refused the use of your shower to me and to add insult to injury, when I was my most filthy, you took a picture of my embarrassing state! When I showed you my prepared in-depth essay for my penpal, Gerta, you slammed me into the book and tossed me like a Frisbee calling it "Snoresville!" When Ed's penpal's gifts provoked Rolf and we followed Ed being ambushed to Rolf's Cavern cellar, you made things worse when you immaturely taunted Rolf that he'd stick eels down our pants again! We could have avoided being crammed into a suitcase for Rolf's Norwegian friend turning out to be MY penpal, Gerta if it wasn't for THAT remark that made Rolf torture Ed while you and I were literally "all tied up"! You threatened to have MY NAME WRITTEN ON THE GIRL'S RESTROOM WALL if I didn't help you, Ed and Johnny escape from school! What REAL friends do that to each other?! When I was depressed no longer being the one kids go to for school work, all you cared about was receiving a mere quarter from me! You had me dressed up to look like a bunny to cheer up Ed and, no surprise, YOU MADE IT A SCAM! When you posed as "Carl", you abandoned me and Ed for sake of popularity! Luckily, I exploited the writing on the walls and you were exposed for the fraud you are! I would have been paper pulp if you hadn't printed fake stories in the school newspaper, I'm thankful you were found out as you always do. It was your fault Jimmy, Sarah and Kevin set us up and had an embarrassing picture of us brought to the public of school grounds! And for what? A scam! Scamming is one thing, but cheating by causing the others to crack under pressure from lack of their usual habits is quite the other! You didn't win the bet and you'll NEVER deserve to win, mister! When i was viewed as the bully of the school, you took advantage of it all for personal gain! True you stood up to the Kankers as you did when I was the laugh of the lane for my lack of strength, AND you mistakenly believed there to be a serial-toucher on the loose when my magnifying glass and Sarah's doll went missing, but where's THAT kind of person in you the rest of the time? You made me go to a school dance against my will, even though I did dance with Nazz which was nice before I met Jackie. When Jimmy and I ran the school safety club, you and Ed ruined it all for him! Which made us end up in a freezing dumpster jail! It was your biggest scam gone wrong that had us running for our lives and everything you said about your brother was a lie! When we met Jackie in Shining Time Station, you HATED her because you thought she was stealing me away from you! Well, mister, I say GOOD! You and Ed, him not knowing any better, made fun of me in Shining Time Station when I was a COMPLETE nervous wreck to ask Jackie out for the NASCAR Valentine's Day dance! You scammed her, yelled at her and called her the horrid "B" word for accidentally ruining a scam, you were NEVER present nor called me on my cellular phone when I was abused and seduced by the Kanker Sisters and Jackie had to come to my rescue and ward them off, despite their horrid insults towards Jackie's iconic birthmarks! The first time ever I went to Jackie's house, it was Jackie's cute Pomeranian dog, Maggie who helped me CURE my fear of canines, the temporary phobia YOU triggered inside me after your ridiculous newspaper scam! And speaking of the adorable little canine, you made her feel bad when you called her a "useless, timid, little squirt!", and me, Jackie, and Timmy as 16-inches tall, had to sooth her and heal her mental wounds from YOU! You LIED about me to Jackie, attempting to try and make her think different of me, in which that NEVER paid off for you, because Jackie is WISE and NEVER tolerates ANYONE lying to her precious, beautiful face! And I say GOOD that she stood up to you and KNEW you for the pathological liar you are! Jackie RESCUED ME when I was freezing in that blizzard you abandoned me in and I caught a HORRIBLE FEVER THAT JACKIE ENDED UP CATCHING FROM ME!!!! I nearly PERISHED in that blizzard as well! You scammed ME, Rudy, Penny and Snap with fake tacos. Thankfully, Timmy and his Godparents helped us get our RIGHTFULLY-EARNED money back. You showed no sympathy, empathy or concern the other times my magnifying glass along with Mr. Conductor's sketchpad went missing. And I will NEVER forget the day you (hysterically) LIED ABOUT MY LOVE!!!!!!!!! (referring to Jackie) She spent the WHOLE night trying to heal my SHATTERED heart caused by your INFAMOUS lies about her!!!! And I say, GOOD that her sister Juliet overheard you and viciously PELTED you in the face for lying about her sister Jackie to my face! If it wasn't for Jackie, the night you hospitalized me, I wouldn't know THE REAL YOU!!!! (as Edd rants on and on, clips are shown from each episode referenced from "Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy" "Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy Visit Shining Time Station" and "Mr. Conductor and Timmy Turner's Thomas Tales with Friends" as well as the Mr. Conductor Meets Ed,Edd 'N' Eddy edition of "The Luck of the Ed" and "Ed, Edd 'N' Eddy's Big Picture Show"; Eddy's expression changes from confused to EXTREMELY ENRAGED)
Eddy: Are you done yet?! 'Cause we've got Ed's Burrito Place to think of!
Edd: You still don't get it, DO YOU, Eddy?!
Eddy: What don't I get?!
Edd: You're A MANIPULATOR! A LIAR! A CHEAT! A SWINDLER! A BULLY! A WRONGDOER! (hysterically) And you know what, Eddy?! I'M NOT YOUR FRIEND ANYMORE!!!!!!! WE'RE THROUGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! (rolls up his car window)
Eddy (EXTREMELY ENRAGED): NOT MY FRIEND ANYMORE?!!!! YOU DOUBLE-CROSSER!!!! (jumps onto the window and yells and bangs angrily similar to how he did in the EENE episode, "Read All About Ed")
(Edd ignores him by blasting "Take Me There" by Jackie Evancho on his car radio)
(Edd then put the throttle into reverse, looked back with his hand in the back of the side-seat, and was about to pull out of the driveway...)
Eddy (shielding the driveway): You ain't going anywhere, Sockhead! We've got a scam to do--!
(Edd then runs Eddy over, flattening him like a pancake, Eddy screams in unison)
(As Edd was clear of the driveway, he put the throttle into 'drive' and drove away)
Eddy: (now in his regular shape watches Edd drive away) FINE! DRIVE AWAY, TRAITOR! IT'S YOUR LOSS! 'CAUSE THIS SCAM WAS GOLD! A-NUMBER ONE BABY! WHY'D YOU HAVE TO GET A DRIVER'S LICENSE AND A STUPID SILVER CAR ANYWAY?!!!! (angrily cries and pounds the sidewalk that Edd knows the REAL him)
(Scene flashes us back to Present Day with Edd, Jackie and Tony Stewart)
Tony Stewart: Wow! That's the hardest rant I've EVER heard from ANYONE...EVER.
Edd: Believe me, it took A LOT of courage, Tony. Had it not been for my wife, Jackie here, I would NOT have the assertion in me when I MUST speak out!
Jackie: It was for the best, Double-Dear.
(Edd and Jackie kiss)
Edd: And worst of all, Eddy teamed up with the most DEVIOUS and DANGEROUS Diesel on the Island Of Sodor known as Diesel 10 to DESTROY me, Jackie, Ed, Timmy, Ignazio, and all of the engines on the Island Of Sodor, SHOWING his TRUE colors that I NEVER knew about him. He is a VILLAIN in disguise! Trust me, Smoke. Eddy is one NOBODY wants to be friends with.
Tony Stewart: Indeed I believe you, Double-D. But don't worry, because if Eddy comes near ME, I will give him my signature bada--*bleep* attitude.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): Welcome to NASCAR on ESPN! The wait is over, and for the first time this year, we will see the green flag fly and the 43 stock cars trade paint and show great speed! Hello everyone, I'm Bob Jenkins alongside former NASCAR Winston Cup Series Champion, Benny Parsons, and this race, BP, whoa-hoa, is the BIGGEST race of the year, and the start of a brand new season.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): You got that right, Bob. We've got some hungry new teams, hungry new drivers, and some brand new tracks on this schedule. Man, I can't wait for the green flag to drop in today's DAYTONA 500.
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): And this year, NASCAR is holding it's first ever Team Championship. The teams that will be contending for that trophy will be Team Fastex, owned by the kind-hearted, strict, confident, and consistent Jack Fassler and his crew, and known for their kind-hearted, characteristic, vigorous, humorous, young kids, and Team REXCOR owned by the ignorant, greedy, and evil man, Garner Rexton and his crew, known for their low-down, nasty, vile, and unfair drivers. These 2 teams now have the opportunity to show their skills in motorsports and for years to come.
Benny Parsons (ESPN): Yeah, Bob, drivers like Timmy Turner, Eddy, McRich, Blossom Neutron, drivers some of us don't even know about, now we get to see their characteristics and watch them show their talent today, and for years and seasons to come, Bob. But the main goal for Team Fatex is to WIN the NASCAR Winston Cup Series Team Championship title in November. Why? Because the bank that Jack Fassler used to pay the loans of Team Fastex was bought by his arch-nemesis and business rival, Team REXCOR's Garner Rexton, and Jack Fassler will LOSE Team Fastex if his Team doesn't win the Team Championship by November (foreshadowing the "2000 NAPA 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki). *scene cuts to Team Fastex exiting the drivers' meeting and walking on their way to pit-road*
Lisa: Well, this is it guys. Our first time on the racetrack.
Bloo: BOO-YAH! After 10 months of NASCAR school from Team Fastex Headquarters and a month of trials, I'm FINALLY ready to kick some bumper!
Mac: Let's just hope you don't crash, Bloo.
Bubbles (nervously): I am shy and nervous Timmy, i-i-it's my first time on T.V and and have a little "stage-fright".
Timmy: Awwww.... you shouldn't feel nervous, Bubs. And how could you get stage-fright when you have the fans cheering for ya? They love ya, Bubs cause you're on Team Fastex!
Jackie: So Edd hon, you ready to enjoy competing in your very first race?
Edd: After 10 months of school and a whole January being mentored by my mentor, Tony Stewart, no doubt, turtledove! I am ready to race for 200 laps in the biggest race in NASCAR, the DAYTONA 500. Winning here would be the biggest accomplishment of the family name.
Jackie: And I'd be the happiest wife in the world if you win the DAYTONA 500. *she and Edd kiss on the lips*
Ed: Fools! As it is my turn to drive a motor-car! Look at my nose and see your future.
Timmy: Um, Ed. Not now.
Ed: I am sorry little buddy. I Ed will behave like a monster truck.
Rudy: Good boy, Ed.
Timmy (with the crowd cheering beginning to sound and begins to gets louder little by little): Alright, guys. This is it. *scene cuts to the Team Fastex drivers approaching pit-road, and as they approach closer, the crowd roar gets louder and louder, the Team Fastex drivers walking and gazing at the crowd in astonishment* *scene cuts back to the stands to random racefans*
Rudy: Man, I got goosebumps!
Bart: This... is gettin' good.
Bubbles: *gulps nervously but happily* *scene cuts to the stands showing random race-fans*
Female Race-fan #1 (in unison to the crowd cheering): Yeah... GO TIMMY!!!!
Male Race-fan #1 (in unison to the crowd cheering and Female Race-fan #1):: GOOOOO, BUTTERCUP, BABY!!!!
Male Race-Fan #2 (in unison to the crowd cheering): GET 'EM, RUDY!!!!
Female Racefan #2 (in unison to the crowd cheering and Male Race-fan #2): Lisa, you go, girl!!!! WHOOOO!!!!! *scene cuts to random Team Fastex drivers walking on pit road, with the cars as cameos, in unison to the cheering crowd*
Female Race-Fan #4 (in unison to the crowd cheering / voice only): Show em' what you're made of, Penny!!!!
Male Race-Fan #3 (in unison to the crowd cheering and Female Race-fan #4 / voice only): LET'S GO RACING!!!! KICK BUMPER, ED!!!!
Female Race-Fan #2 (in unison to the crowd cheering / voice only): Bubbles, you can do it!!!! *the Team Fastex drivers to to their assigned pit-stalls.
Track P.A Announcer (in the background): And now, please rise for our National Anthem. *scene cuts to the Foster House, with Frankie Foster standing up, putting her hand on her heart, then cuts, to Timmy's Grandpa Pappy's house with Pappy standing up, putting his hand on his heart, then back at Daytona Int'l Speedway with Snap's #12 pit-crew putting their caps on their hearts, then to Ed's #18 pit-crew putting their hands on their hearts, then to Bubbles putting her hand on her heart, then to Ed putting his hand on his heart using the wrong hand, the crowd waits for the Anthem to end, a sky-diver with the American flag drops into the infield grass, and the crowd cheers LOUDLY after the Anthem and puts their hats back on, then the scene cuts to Ed's #18 crew putting their caps back on their heads, then cuts to Timmy's pit-crew putting their caps back on their heads, then cuts to various drivers' pit-crew high fiving each other good luck, then cuts to the jet-flyover*
Marge (to Lisa in her #88 Quality Care Ford): You and Bart.... *in unison, tears up* have really grown up, Lisa. Me and Homey are so proud of you! *hugs Lisa*
Lisa (getting ready in her #88 Quality Care Ford): Even though Dad is in a racecar himself, he can sure wish me and Bart the best of luck.
Marge (to Lisa in her #88 Quality Care Ford): Indeed he can, Lisa. Well, gotta hit it to your father's pitbox. *kisses Lisa on her forehead* Make me and Homey proud.
Lisa (in her #88 Quality Care Ford):: You got it, Mom *snickers happily* *scene cuts to Marge leaving, then back to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa: *takes deep breath and sighs while attaching the steering-wheel to the dashboard*
[scene cuts to the pit-crews going to work and testing their air-hoses, then to multiple drivers' cockpits with each driver getting ready for the race]
Mike Haugher (voice only): DRIVERS, START YOUR ENGINES!!!! *scene cuts to multiple drivers' cockpits, starting their engines in unison to the crowd cheering LOUDLY*
Timmy: Ah, finally! The first race of the season, and OUR first race in NASCAR! *scene cuts to Ed's cockpit*
Ed: Motor cars GOOD for Ed! *revs his engine loudly* *scene cuts to Rudy's cockpit*
Rudy (while revving his engine loudly): Time to put on a real show for these fans who've come to see us kick some bumper! *scene cuts to Buttercup's cockpit*
Buttercup: *starts her engine* "Burnin' Rubber" is my middle name! DAYTONA 500 here I come! *revvs her engine twice* *scene cuts to Eddy's cockpit*
Eddy: *revvs his engine* Jawbreakers are calling my name! And the DAYTONA 500 trophy is my key to the gate! *revvs his engine* *scene cuts to Bloo's cockpit*
Bloo (while revving his engine): If I win this DAYTONA 500, I'll definitely make this car a racecar bed! *scene cuts to Edd's cockpit*
Edd (talking to himself): *revs his engine* Don't worry, Edd. Like Jackie said, take a few deep breaths, drive cautiously on the track, and you'll definitely be in contention to win today's DAYTONA 500. *revs his engine* *scene cuts to ESPN broadcast booth*
Bob Jenkins (ESPN): For the first time this year, the 43 stock car engines roar to life on this 2.5 mile oval known as Daytona International Speedway, for today's 42nd annual of the biggest race of the year, and best known as The Great American Race, the DAYTONA 500! Green flag flies next on ESPN! *scene cuts to Lisa's cockpit*
Lisa: *revs her engine* Well, Colin, this is it, *sighs* the DAYTONA 500. Me and Bart are in the front rows for today's race. Let's just hope Bart doesn't do any stupid but risky moves on the track to cause the big wreck, because this is a restrictor-plate track along with Talladega Superspeedway. (foreshadowing the "2000 Diehard 500 Fantasy Edition" wiki-race).
Bob Jenkins (ESPN / in unison to the crowd cheering loudly): We're set to go in the NASCAR Winston Cup Series Season as Brett Bodine pulls the pace car into pit-road! *in unison, crowd cheers louder as the pace car pulls into the pits* Glad you're with us on ESPN as WWE Superstar, John Cena has the green flag in his hand, ready to set these 43 beasts loose.... *cars accelerate to take the green flag waved by John Cena, crowd screams and cheers wildly in unison* and now he waves it! The 42nd annual DAYTONA 500 is underway!
Benny Parsons (ESPN): The season's on, Bob!
Barney Hall (MRN Radio): Here they come down to the line, green flag goes in the air, and we are underway in the DAYTONA 500. On the break, the front 2 cars get a good jump on everybody else. They're door-to-door going to Turn #1, now they'll tuck in single-file as they hit the corner, led by Bloo Kazoo.
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Bloo Kazoo gets the lead! Mojo Jojo falls in behind him then is about a 3-car length jam back to Eddy McRich who rides alone in 3rd! The race for 4th though is side-by-side! Timmy Turner's trying to make a move! He's up on the banking on the outside of Lisa Simpson exiting Turn #2!
Mike Bagley (MRN Radio): 2 Fastex machines remain side-by-side! Simpson now with the position down low! Turner's trying to rally back on the outside! Meanwhile, directly ahead, Timmy Turner breaks out of line! This is the battle for 3rd! Turner to the inside, McRich to the outside in Turn #3!
Fred Armstrong (MRN Radio): Turner gets the 3rd position, but McRich battles back to the outside of the racetrack! The line forms up on the inside! Timmy Turner holds down the 3rd position! Mojo Jojo looks quickly for the top spot! They'll race off the corner, still double-wide for 3rd!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): Mojo Jojo dives to the bottom in front of Timmy Turner, trying to draft by Bloo Kazoo! Kazoo gets a good run though, and will lead Lap #1 of the DAYTONA 500! It is McRich racing Jojo for second, now Turner goes down to the bottom, and it is now 3-wide for the runner-up spot as they head back to Turn #1!
Joe Moore (MRN Radio): Timmy Turner is STRONG down at the bottom of the racetrack! He flashes by Mojo Jojo and picks up the 3rd position, and now he'll go to work on Squidward Tentacles, who's now moved up on the outside! That's the race for 3rd! The front 2 cars are nose-to-tail!
Mike Bagley (MRN Radio): Meanwhile, off Turn #2, Eddy McRich takes the lead! He'll grab the spot away from Bloo Kazoo! Squidward Tentacles' now in 3rd, racing side-by-side with Timmy Turner! Turner's down to the inside! It's a "drag-race" for the 3rd spot!
Fred Armstrong (MRN Radio): Turner challenges Tentacles for the 3rd position as he climbs the 31-degree banking of Turn #3! Side-by-side, everybody's stacked up double-wide as the front 2 cars race off Turn #4 single-file!
Eddy (in 1st): Time's runnin' out, ya Fastex suckers! Hey Brikowski, try blockin' these Fastex suckers, Lumpy and Chalk Boy for me and slam em' around! This DAYTONA 500 belongs to REXCOR! *scene cuts to Brikowski's cockpit*
Officer Brikowski (laps behind the leader in 34th): Don't mind if I do, McRich! *scene cuts to the track*
Fred Armstrong (MRN Radio): McRich swings up to the top of Mike Brikowski, a lapped car on the bottom of the racetrack! Eddy McRich puts on the block! McRich slips off Turn #4 back to the checkered flag!
Allen Bestwick (MRN Radio): (in unison, Rudy angrily cries out "HEY, NO FAIR, BRIKOWSKI! YOU'RE LAPS DOWN, YOU COWARD!" and at the same time, Ed cries out "HE'S LIKE A BAD ITCH, RUDY! MAKE HIM STOP!") McRich is in front of Ed Monobrow, Rudy Tabootie, and the lapped car of Mike Brikowski! Brikowski causes Tabootie and Monobrow to slam into each other as they head for the stripe, and Eddy McRich of Team REXCOR will win the DAYTONA 500! (in unison, Eddy exclaims "SUCKERS!!!!" and his evil cackling is heard in the background) A HUGE win for Eddy McRich as he wins the first race of the season! Eddy McRich of Team REXCOR will fill in the first spot in the playoff grid for Springfield in September! (foreshadowing the "2000 Krusty Burger 400 Fantasy Edition" wiki)
Since this is the 2000 season, the commentators on TV (ESPN) will be Bob Jenkins (now retired) & Benny Parsons (1941-2007).
The MRN Radio commentators for this wiki-race will be Allen Bestwick & Barney Hall (in the booth), Joe Moore (Turns 1 & 2), Mike Bagley (Backstretch, backstraightaway,) and Fred Armstrong (Turns 3 & 4)
The TV pit reporters (ESPN) will be Bill Weber, Dr. Jerry Punch, Marty Snider, Matt Yocum, and Wally Dallenbach.
The radio pit reporters (MRN Radio) will be Winston Kelley, Steve "The Postman" Post, Alex Hayden, Jason Toy, Jim Phillips, Krista Voda, Kyle Rickey, and Adam Alexander.
This is the first race of the NASCAR 2000 Fantasy Edition series.